I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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