He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
They have beer where we have blood.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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