PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
