he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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