Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
