You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
