He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize