Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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