I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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