I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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