On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
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He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
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Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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