Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
