My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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