That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
