He uses pillows to masturbate.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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