I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Two words: nipple clamps
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