I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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