do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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