I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
