Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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