They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
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Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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