I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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