last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
