he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
