Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
