Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
