So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
