shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
