apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
