Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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