just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
