so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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