I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
