So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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