had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
