woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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