There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize