she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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