If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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