I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
