grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
