Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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