lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
