Cold hands, warm shart.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
