Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
