god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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