ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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