I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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