There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
