i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
