She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
