What a fucking waste of an outfit
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
