insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize