He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
