Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
