something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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