You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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