He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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