HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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